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3 Types of Time:  A Chat Between Friends
By Tim Wilson

Hi!  How are you?

Pretty frustrated, actually...  

Really?  What’s up?

Life!  Trying to run a business from home with three kids.  It seemed such a great idea at first - being with my children, working from home, no commute, doing things my way.  

But it’s just not working!  Half the time I feel guilty because I’m not doing what I feel I should be; the rest of the time I feel frustrated because I can’t seem to do what I want!

Okay, so what do you want?

I want to feel that I can move on with my business, take care of my home and family and enjoy being with them.  I wouldn’t mind some time to myself as well!


So what’s a typical week for you?  How is your time divided up?

Well, I have some time with the kids (when I’m actually giving them my full attention).  I love being with them, but I’m often thinking about everything else I have to do.

Then I seem to spend a lot of time trying to do things with the kids around.  These tend to be the mundane things that have to be done, such as the housework.  Anything requiring too much brain power is impossible because I’m bound to be in demand to fix this or to fetch that.

Lastly, there are times when they’re out when I know I’ve got some time to myself.  This time is sacred for me - I really treasure it!  It’s when I can get on with whatever I want to do, safe in the knowledge that I won’t be disturbed or interrupted.  

So let me guess this straight.  You’re defining your time as being spent (a) with your family, (b) with your family around, and (c) without them at all?

Yes, that’s right.

Okay, so how can you make the most of those three types of time?

You tell me - you’re the expert!  

Sorry, I didn’t mean to sound rude or to cause offence.  It’s just that I’m stuck with this and I could really use some help...

Don’t worry - none taken!

Okay, how about using a schedule?

I’m not sure about that... I mean, we already have one, but we never seem to be able to stick to it.  Besides, it’s so boring and constricting.  Why should I limit my fun with the kids just because a timer buzzes and tells me to stop?

Yes, I know what you mean.  But maybe it’s how you schedule that determines its usefulness.

Go on...

Well, I’d have thought that balancing work and family would mean you’d have to set limits on at least some activities.  If you don’t, life can soon become imbalanced.  

Maybe it’s not such a bad idea to ring-fence the time you give to an activity.  Scheduling means you’ll actually be more likely to do nice things as well, rather than squeezing them out because you’re too busy.  

You could also put in a time buffer between scheduled activities so you’re not trying to do too much.  And if you do go over the limit the time buffer will soak it up and help everyone stick to the schedule.

Anyway, if you do end up doing something with your family and it messes up the schedule occasionally, so what?  It’s meant to be a framework to help you, not a stick to beat yourself with.

Oh, and one other thing about setting time limits - perhaps they actually help you make the most of the time you defined because they encourage creative use of it

Interesting...

I’ve got one other question.  When I do get some uninterrupted time to myself, how do I make the most of it?  It’s too easy to let that time slip away doing things that are don’t make much difference.

Yes, this time is important.  It’s tempting to get drawn into doing busy work, but that sort of thing could be done when the children are around - you could even delegate some of it to them!

You mentioned timers earlier.  When you get some time to yourself, work out roughly how long you’ll have, then take five minutes to work out what the best use of that time would be.  Set a timer for however long you want to work on your business, then have a break and do the same for something else.

Okay, thanks.  I’ll try it!

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Related articles:
Balancing Home & Work: The Challenge of the Home-Based Business
Calm the Overwhelm
Counter-Intuitive Time Management Techniques to Tame Your Never-Ending To Do List

Related Blogs:
Busy Moms – Tips for keeping it all balanced!


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