Balancing sick members and schedules

[franke1]

How do you balance a sick parent's needs with your schedule. Often aged parents who may stay nearby butnot with us need us. Then all schedules go haywire, for somehow they have to be tended to first. They need us.
It is not easy - but who else will do it for them .

[Audrey]

Are you talking about the flu? Or are you talking about needing you day to day? If they need you day to day, it might be time to consider hiring someone for 2-4 hours per day. I have a friend who has several clients. She goes and helps them out daily or maybe 3 times per week. She is with them anywhere from 2-4 hours each visit.

[roserighter]

I have had to put my mom's needs on the back burner lately and it makes me feel bad. She has severe arthritis and can't get around very well. She doesn't drive either and depends on me to get her to the store for food, take her out and get her to the doctor. I was seeing a counselor and she kept telling me I have to set boundaries with my mom. I can't be everywhere at once and my kids shouldn't have to miss school because she has an appointment. The last few weeks were especially hard because me and my kids got the flu and I couldn't make it over there at all. I am trying to get assistnace for her from local retirement homes and such for transportation, even though she isn't a senior yet. I am getting quite the runaround though. I just do the best I can and see her when I have down time though.

[Audrey]

Can you or your mom afford to hire a "helper" for a few hours per day, a few days per week? One of my friends makes her living helping the elderly. She works for one man, Mon, Wed and Fri. She spends about 3 hours per day with him. She drives him to the store, to the doctor, whatever he needs. He's able to plan his week so that his appointments are the days and times she'll be with him. She has this same arrangement for several other seniors also.

The town I live in has several transportation options. Look in your local phone book, in the front section and see if their are city/state/government programs that operate in your town. One program we have is called Easy Lift.

My parents are in their 70's and I'm very thankful they are both quite healthy and quite mobile.

[Lori]

That's a good idea Audrey...

Tracy, it sounds like you are a good daughter! But you're right, you have to make sure your needs and your family's needs are met too. Don't feel guilty - it won't change how many hours there are in a day.