He doesn't think I do anything!

[jesiwins]

Let me start this vent by saying I love my husband. He is totally supportive and loving almost all of the time. But...

I swear he doesn't think I do anything all day long. Our daughter is 7 months old and keeping her happy and safe is enough of a job let alone the work I do around the house keeping it moderately clean and tidy. On top of that I've been working outside the home about 20-35 hours a week for the past month and I'm starting a new business at home which needs about 20-30 hours a week of my time. Oh, and did I mention we are buying our first home and closing April 15th. So because I don't work I get to handle coordinating everything with the realator, mortgage, insurance, and packing. I just want a little recognition, is that too much to ask!

Wow, it felt good to get that off my chest!

Thanks for "listening"

[Lori]

:shock:

He thinks you do NOTHING???? GRRRRRRRRRR.

Vent all you want! We know you love him :D

Lori

Let me start this vent by saying I love my husband. He is totally supportive and loving almost all of the time. But...

I swear he doesn't think I do anything all day long. Our daughter is 7 months old and keeping her happy and safe is enough of a job let alone the work I do around the house keeping it moderately clean and tidy. On top of that I've been working outside the home about 20-35 hours a week for the past month and I'm starting a new business at home which needs about 20-30 hours a week of my time. Oh, and did I mention we are buying our first home and closing April 15th. So because I don't work I get to handle coordinating everything with the realator, mortgage, insurance, and packing. I just want a little recognition, is that too much to ask!

Wow, it felt good to get that off my chest!

Thanks for "listening"

[Debbi]

Men don't get it. Plain and simple. They just don't...otherwise, how could my husband come home after working all day, and collapse on the couch, watching me pick up dirty socks that the kids have thrown around the living room? How could he look at me and say 'I'm so tired' if he really knew that I had been up since 6am, got the kids to school, made at least 4 snacks for the 4 year old, snacks for the big kids when they came home, 2 loads of laundry, dinner for everyone, swept the floor, fed the 3 dogs, fed the cat and put him outside, fed and groomed the horse, oh and did I mention, worked 5-6 hrs in my home office doing bookeeping, web design, HTML signatures, customer support, and data entry???? HE'S TIRED?

Men don't get it because (IMHO) they couldn't do what we do in a million years. Never. Never would happen.

So, vent all you want (I tend to use Lori as my personal vent board) and I guess try to remember that they can't appreciate it because they wouldn't be able to do it themselves. Empathy is being able to put yourself in someone elses shoes, and sisters, our shoes move too fast for the husbands!

:D

I still love him, even though he irritates me beyond reason.

Debbi

[dreuby]

That's OK - at the end of the week, just present him with a bill for the services you provide - childcare, housekeeping, PA services. :lol:

Plus here in the UK, employers have to pay tax, insurance for each employee - so add on at least 50% for that. :wink:

[Debbi]

Good idea...although it would just crack my hubby up. :lol:

[stillstanding]

Hey girls this vent board is a great Idea I am a single mom of a 11 month old wonderful, I work from my home several family members expect me to do thier running ir help with thier chores because after all I only have one child and no man not to mention they keep refering to me as unemployed. This makes me compleatly nuts I work hard and I am happy to help others I just dint like to be taken for granted or viewed as lazy. I 'm in a mood today thats all thanks for listening

[Mel]

Men don't get it. Plain and simple.

I couldn't have said it better myself. :lol: There are a few exceptions but the majority don't get it.

[Debbi]

Yep, although, lately, I've found ways to make him work. :D For example, I pile clean clothes in his favorite chair. If he wants to sit, he has to fold them or risk my justifiable irritation if he throws the CLEAN clothes on the floor. Also, if his socks don't make it to the hamper (which happens too often to be discussed) they just don't get washed. So, he's up at 10pm washing socks - completely cracks me up.

Don't get me wrong, I love him, but man, he does NOT get it!

d

[momathome]

Maybe he needs a day alone with the baby and a list of a few "honey-do's". It wouldn't be as much as you are doing, but I am sure it would at least make an impression!

[justinpowell]

Maybe he needs a day alone with the baby and a list of a few "honey-do's". It wouldn't be as much as you are doing, but I am sure it would at least make an impression!

Funny you mention that. This past Saturday I was able to get away for the day to see my alma mater Rutgers play South Florida in football. My wife (who is amazingly understanding and supportive about my role as WAHD) watched our twin boys for the day. Afterwards she said to me that she doesn't know how I do it every day. She's a great mother, so it was an interesting statement coming from her.

[momathome]

Most spouses probably aren't trying to be unappreciative. Sometimes a day alone with the kids can help them remember what a responsibility it is- and that you are working on top of all that!
I certainly work more hours from home than I did in a traditional office setting. There is no one else to share the responsibility. :) But, I get to be with the children, which more than makes up for the extra work!

[Lori]

I certainly work more hours from home than I did in a traditional office setting. There is no one else to share the responsibility. :) But, I get to be with the children, which more than makes up for the extra work!

Well said! :D

[Debbi]

True, but it would still be nice sometimes if someone said 'wow, you sure do a lot around here, thanks so much'! Of course, I'd fall over if that happened :D

[Ravish30]

My husband used to say crap like that to me years ago (early in our marriage) and I went on strike for 3 weeks until he finally gave in, got with the program and has never said that again to me in 20 years!

[WAHMSpace]

My husband used to be that way as well until one day I stuck him with my daughter all day long while I went out with some friends..he was completely wiped out that day when I got home and he said..how do you do it all?Ever since then he has been completely supportive!

[andrea910]

You are not alone! My husband is just as bad. I can't help but get irritated when he comes home and asks (in a bit of an accusatory voice might I add) 'what have you been doing all day?' I usually have to take a breath and count to 10 before I answer him. Nevermind I'm covered in oatmeal, haven't showered and look like I've escaped from the looney bin most days!

I love the man to death, but I sometimes wonder if he thinks before he says stuff like that.

I've found the best 'remedy' is to leave him home with the kids while I run errands all day (ok, maybe I take longer than I should....ooops!) :D

Hang in there girl!

[babyface]

Oh, don't even start! all day I change diapers, sweep the floor wipe up puke, wipe up piss from the floor ("accidents") and lysol it right away, sing to the kids even though I just feel like screaming, play blocks when I feel like going to sleep, run to hug a kid who was bitten/scratched/pushed/kicked/hair pulled and at the same time take the offender to the "corner" for time-out. (you guessed it: I am a daycare manager) and with all that- give extra special loving attention to my own 21M-old son who is at home with me when I do all that.
Then, my older kids are home from school - I welcome them with a proud and loving "how was school?" (I don't really care kids, I had a rough day) but of course I DO. and then I have to cook dinner while yelling at my own kids to stop whining and stop fighting.
THEN, I give my kids a bath (my older one takes a shower) put them to sleep, do home work with my older one, put him to sleep, and THEN I finally sit down to the computer for some peace and quiet, for some unwinding (OK yes the house is a BIG MESS! but I need a break! my DH comes home sees me sitting there in the messy house browsing the net
"you're on the computer all day" he says!!!! then, to make me feel guilty, he cleans up the house a little.
then I want to sleep. he says "you aren't too tired for the computer, why are you too tired to sleep with me?"
sigh