JUST NEED TO VENT

[Anonymous]

I REALLY NEED SOMEONE TO ANSWER IN SO MANY WORDS THAT DO AS TO OTHERS AS YOU WANT OTHERS TO DO UNTO YOU DON'T MEAN SQUAT. I HAVE TRIED AND TRIED TO DO PEOPLE LIKE I WANT THEM TO DO ME AND I KEEP GETTING WALK ON AND OVER WHAT AM I DOING WRONG IN ORDER TO GET A FRIEND YOU HAVE TO BE A FRIEND DON'T WORK FOR ME EITHER. HAS IT JUST CAME DOWN TO DON'T HELP NOBODY DON'T LISTEN TO THEIR PROBLEMS AND TRY TO SOLVE THEM CAUSE WHEN THE SHOE IS ON THE OTHER FOOT THEY ARENT THERE I REALLY DON'T WANT TO BELIEVE THIS BUT IT KEEPS HAPPENING OVER AND OVER AGAIN IS THERE A SOLUTION TO THIS PROBLEM I DON' WANT TO BE MEAN TO PEOPLE CAUSE WHEN PEOPLE ARE MEAN TO ME IT HURTS DEEPLY SO I TRY TO BE UNDERSTANDING AND COMPASSIONATE CAN SOMEONE GIVE ME SOME INSIGHT INTO THIS :x

[smbwallace]

Hi, it was hard to read your post because of the ALL CAPS but what I understand you saying sounds like me a few years ago. I was doing and doing and doing for everyone and it seemed no one appreciated it and I ended up feeling really badly. Sound familiar?

Okay, here's the deal. I found out I was codependent and read Melody Beattie's "Codependent No More." I think you are ready for this because you sound tired of being walked on.

I learned a WHOLE LOT from this book, and to sum it up I realized that I was pretty much my own enemy. No one was asking me to do this or that for them and they really didn't care.

So I just got to where I only did for people who I felt would do for me. I know that sounds mean but it's incredibly liberating and they don't really care anyway. That way you make the choice instead of putting your power in someone else's hands.

I highly recommend you read this book I mentioned and you can get books really cheaply from www.half.com. I think it will really help you. Go for it!

[Anonymous]

i am glad u replied thank you i really needed those words i could not see the forest for the trees i will check out that book and again thanks for your words

[smbwallace]

Just remember YOU have the power to change YOURSELF and no one else! You're the only person in charge of your happiness so do whatever it takes to get there. People who walk on you don't care anyway.

[Debbi]

yikes, that sounds so sad. I think that sometimes people are just thoughtless and don't necessarily MEAN to walk on other people. You should always take care of yourself, but the 'watching out for #1' idea seems extreme. There will always be people who take advantage but really, if you're doing for others, that should be enough. Who cares if they don't appreciate it or reciprocate it? Just being the kind of person you know you can be should be enough.

[Anonymous]

yikes, that sounds so sad. I think that sometimes people are just thoughtless and don't necessarily MEAN to walk on other people. You should always take care of yourself, but the 'watching out for #1' idea seems extreme. There will always be people who take advantage but really, if you're doing for others, that should be enough. Who cares if they don't appreciate it or reciprocate it? Just being the kind of person you know you can be should be enough.
thank u debbi
i always thought that u should help if u could and that is what i thought i was doing i just wanted to be the kind of person that i wanted people to be to me thank u very much those are words of encouragement but it does not help the fact that people don't realize people do have feelings and i did what i do for that reason

[Lori]

No doubt about it, life is harder for the good guy. Why IS that?

Just be sure to take care of yourself. Don't have expectations on other people. Remember most the time you aren't the target. Everyone has stuff they're going through.

Be kind and compassionate, but there is something to be said about "idiot compassion". Sometimes being compassionate means putting your foot down.

Hang in there! hug

Lori

[Anonymous]

No doubt about it, life is harder for the good guy (http://www.serverlogic3.com/lm/rtl3.asp?si=22&k=good%20guy). Why IS that?

Just be sure to take care of yourself. Don't have expectations on other people. Remember most the time you aren't the target. Everyone has stuff they're going through.

Be kind and compassionate, but there is something to be said about "idiot compassion". Sometimes being compassionate means putting your foot down.
thanks lori,
i won't take it personal anymore i just needed someone other than me to see that what i felt i was doing was right and what i was feeling was just hurt feelings i felt good helping and i will leave it at that i will just brush the dirt off my shoulders from my feelings being hurt and move on thanks a lot this board really is good for all and i want to thank all of u

Hang in there! hug

Lori

[Anonymous]

No doubt about it, life is harder for the good guy (http://www.serverlogic3.com/lm/rtl3.asp?si=22&k=good%20guy)'; return true;" onmouseout="window.status=''; return true;">good guy</a>. Why IS that?

Just be sure to take care of yourself. Don't have expectations on other people. Remember most the time you aren't the target. Everyone has stuff they're going through.

Be kind and compassionate, but there is something to be said about "idiot compassion". Sometimes being compassionate means putting your foot down.
thanks lori,
i won't take it personal anymore i just needed someone other than me to see that what i felt i was doing was right and what i was feeling was just hurt feelings i felt good helping and i will leave it at that i will just brush the dirt off my shoulders from my feelings being hurt and move on thanks a lot this board really is good for all and i want to thank all of u

Hang in there! hug

Lorii put this in the wrong place sorry but as i said i won't take it personal anymore i just needed someone other than me to see that what i felt i was doing was right and what i was feeling was just hurt feelings i felt good helping and i will leave it at that i will just brush the dirt off my shoulders from my feelings being hurt and move on thanks a lot this board really is good for all and i want to thank all of u