Body Image

[MaryAnn]

What body image do you have of yourself? I'm not selling anything here. I've found myself really obsessed with my negative body image lately and I was wondering if I have any company!

I would love to come to a place where I like myself just the way I am and just the way I look but I always seem to be my own self improvement project. I don't think self improvement is a bad thing - don't get me wrong there. However, I do think I have a problem in the negative self talk area that leads to my self improvement projects. In other words, I'm not "good enough" the way I am so I have to improve. However, I never seem to reach that "good enough" place - so I always seem to be a failure :(

Comments? Anyone else in the same boat with me?

Wow, strange things come to mind when you're brain dead from doing homework and its pouring rain outside LOL!!!

[Audrey]

MaryAnn,

We live in a world where t.v., magazines etc show women who weigh next to nothing and have truly wonderful bodies. However this is not reality. Next time you're at the grocery store, look around. Yes, some women are really in shape, the vast majority are not.

You are 100% in control of changing what you don't like. I can share a tip that's worked for many women. Write down everything you eat. Don't go on a diet...instead write down everything you eat.

See if that one tip brings about some change. It's amazing what we do when we have to see it in writing :)

[MomAtWork]

Hi MaryAnn -

The good news is, you're definitely not alone. I can relate to the negative self image, and I venture to guess that 90% or more of all women experience it at one time or another in their lives. I think you nailed it though - it's all about self-talk. In a business class, I once heard a really good success strategy that's all about self-talk and I've adapted it a bit to fit my needs. (Not sure who originated it, so I apologize for not giving credit.)

- Spend 10 minutes each morning reading something inspiring and light-hearted (not the news).

- Thank 20 people each day - from the person who holds a door open to your best friend for being your supporter. (It may sound difficult, but it helps you see how many things - small and large - you can appreciate.)

- Spend 30 minutes a day talking with someone who makes you smile and feel good about life.

- Say at least 40 positive things to yourself each day. (Again, it sounds like a lot, but we "talk" to ourselves all day, making judgments about ourselves hundreds of times each day - so, you just need to make 40 of them positive!)

- Try 50 new things each month. Whether it's taking a new way home from the grocery store, trying a new exercise, or wearing a color you don't normally wear - being open to new things helps you stay open to change and more aware of possibilities.

I know this isn't specific to body image, but I've found it to be helpful with all types of issues. I hope you find it useful.

Take care of yourself,

Lisa

[Audrey]

Lisa,

Wow...awesome suggestions. Thank you so much for taking the time to post these here.

[Hisgirl0305]

GREAT tips, Lisa! ;)

[aunt2b]

I don't know if happy is the best thing to aim for when it comes to body image. For me, showing myself my body is strong, or challenging it to the max will make me feel in control of my body image! Once i've pushed myself up a big hill, or run an extra 2 blocks on a hot day, i forget my qualms with my body and am overcome with grateful thoughts! My body did those things, as is! And no amount of surface beauty can make up for strength, ask anyone who uses their body!

Good chatting with you!:work:

[Newbie Shield]

MaryAnn,

Audrey is right on. The media is a heavy trip when it comes to the self image. They are pretty obnoxious about wealth too. I really like her advice about writing down what you eat each day. It is almost certain to help in cutting down the nature and quantity of daily intake.

I think that every single tip that Lisa offered is something that we should all do whether we are trying to lose weight or not.

I would like to add that losing weight isn’t too hard if you do the things that Audrey and Lisa mentioned along with a couple more things. Modern society trains us to eat for pleasure.

It is also a social thing to go out to eat and stuff our faces. We all do it. We eat certain foods to make us feel better; it has become a therapeutic thing.

The real purpose of food is to provide daily energy and nutrition. I’m not saying that we should cheat ourselves of our daily yummies. I would never say to do that. We’d just rebel later on and “make up for it”!

Long story short – it is wise to strike a balance in everything we do and eating is no exception. It's just a mean between two extremes. We should consider [at least casually] monitoring and controlling our quality and quantity of intake. Additionally, daily exercise is critical for both health and in controlling weight.

It is an attitude and lifestyle change. It is very simple. No need for radical rollercoaster diets or paid diet programs. Just minimal daily effort and a sprinkle of common sense. This is the only sustainable way to lose weight and keep it off. It comes off slow, but it won’t come back if we don’t ditch the simple program.

I know you don’t like the negative talk and neither do I but we have to make some changes and we do have to cut some things out. Hey, it won’t stress us out to the max and we don’t have to pay anything extra for it.

Newbie Shield

[MaryAnn]

Do you think that we as women also inadvertently or subconsiously fall into society's and the medias *self image* trap?

I ask that because, although I didn't mention losing weight - just negative body image - a couple of the suggestions were ways to lose weight and not necessarily a way to come to like (even love) me just the way I am.

I would like your honest opinions on how we as women actually perpetuate the belief that the media's models are the *look* we should be striving for.

[Newbie Shield]

Sure, I understood what you meant. I also think that everyone should do a few small things each day to feel good about improving the self image. That was where I was coming from.

I think that is part of loving ourselves. It will go a long way in helping us accept ourselves regardless of where we are at. A small daily conscious plan and a small daily effort is very helpful.

Yes, I am absolutely certain that most of us fall into the media traps - clothing, makeup, fitness, etc. We literally buy into it. We promote it verbally and financially as we continue to fall victim to it's twisted, pervasive snare. We feed it.

Bottom line = love yourself regardless of where you are at. But...love yourself too - by developing and pursuing a general, albiet simple health plan.

A little will go a long way.

Newbie Shield

[sarathy]

I guess, instead of just looking at your outward appearance, it is the right time to analyze all your talents and give yourself a pat on your back. Well, while you work to get back into shape, these things would give you a back up to not fall into a lack of self esteem. I hope you get what i say.

[Newbie Shield]

Yep, both are critical to self esteem. Now and future matter equally.

Newbie Shield

[JESSICATHOMPSON]

Today my husband stepped on the scale and lost 12 lbs. Its not fair. I completely understand what you are going through. I think as women we all go through it. I think Lisa had some great tips.

[honey415]

Mary Anne,
You are not alone, as others have said. It is the society that we live in, we are never "good enough" in the eyes of society.

I for one am happy with myself they way I am. I have always been that way. I am proud of who I am.